My head's bloody hurtin' now!

Hey everyone, it’s 10.10.10 – Thought I’d jump on the bandwagon as everyone keeps banging on about it. I have a reason too though...It’s my guy’s birthday! I won’t tell you how old he’s turning though ‚cause that would be rude!  ;) But a very Happy Birthday to him anyway! xxx

I’m travelling back from Mannheim to Hamburg now. I’m actually writing this as we speed down the motorway (but will be posting it when I’m back in the flat with an internet connection obviously).

We’re speeding now but it was a very different story about half an hour ago when there was only about one lane open causing tailbacks. You may be able to drive as fast as you like on parts of German motorway but apart from that, they’re quite annoying – Roadworks everywhere! A lot of the time you can’t actually see what the hell the point of the roadworks are. They always seem pointless. Are they making them wider? Aren’t they already wide enough....? Anyway this is just me having a little bitch. I’m feeling homesick. I knew it would happen and it’s happening now

I think it started yesterday. We went to see a cabaret (his idea not mine) about some old German singer who’s dead now but was famous internationally...BACK IN THE DAY!  All very funny if you know enough about her and German history...and understand German well enough to get the jokes. You tend to look like a bit of a twit when you’re not in that position though, especially when almost everyone around you is pissing themselves laughing.

So anyway we left during the interval ‘cause he could see I was hating it and I don’t do pretending very well. He took me to see the neighbourhood in which he grew up which was nice for me to see. ...From Vauxhall to his childhood neighbourhood in Mannheim awww!

So then today I felt meh! Happy that it was a nice day (what a difference a few hours make going outside now) and happy ‘A’ had nice weather for his birthday but it was all hitting me – The fact that this is no holiday and I’m here for a long stay! Scary! Yeah, I always knew that but now it’s actually hitting home. We went on to sit around a table for eight with his friends for a birthday lunchtime meal in the sun. I must have come across as an anti-social ****. I can admit that I had no intentions of trying to join in the conversation, making an effort to understand it, making to effort to say anything in German to be honest. Felt disconnected again. I did, however manage to make it clear enough to them that I was sorry for being a bit quiet and that I was homesick. They all understood – very understandable situation, you see.

I’m bit of a shit traveller really. I love the idea of travelling but I can get bored of it and the languages quite quickly sometimes. I think in a lot of ways I can be a bit closed to the way things work abroad. I find it hard to put home aside in my head and get right involved in other cultures fully. I’m sure this is just natural though and I’m sure it’ll just take time. The thing is I’m not always that patient. I doubt that I’m the first person to go through these feelings sometimes. In fact, I can think of a mate here who has been experiencing similar feelings. I keep telling myself that this time in Germany will be good for me and I'm sure it will be.

On the upside though, I don’t think I’ll feel like this for long. I go through phases of homesickness as I said. I like Germany and I like speaking/trying to speak/understand/learning more German (most of the time). I’ll let you know how I go. I certainly need a good night lashin' it up to be honest! It’s been, like two weekends now. Unacceptable! For tonight though, I think I’ll just relax with some entertainment from the UK - IN BRITISH ENGLISH. My head’s been hurting recently.

 I’ll tune back into Germany and German life tomorrow lol plus I’ll keep on telling myself this…I have one week of holiday left!!!

Goodnight xxx